Drunk wasted girls were practically made to be photographed

Some people enjoy taking pics of drunk wasted girls just as much as others enjoy capturing nature, buildings, or their caffè macchiato.

Drunk girls: part glitter, part chaos, all emotional whiplash. Not officially a species yet—but give it time, science is catching up. You’ll spot them in the wild by their distinct call: a high-pitched “OH MY GOD” followed by giggling that defies all logic and volume limits. Their favorite habitat? The women’s bathroom, obviously—where lifelong friendships are forged between strangers over smeared mascara and shared lip gloss. She came out tonight for “just one drink.” Four tequila shots later, she’s giving a TED Talk about her ex’s commitment issues to a plant. A fake plant.

Her purse is a black hole. Somewhere in there is a phone, six IDs (none current), a broken hair clip, and hopes from 2019. Surprisingly, she still finds her lip gloss in record time. She swears she’s fine. She’s not. Her heel just got swallowed by a sidewalk crack and now she’s negotiating peace treaties between her shoe and gravity.

One second she’s crying because the DJ won’t play Taylor Swift. The next? She’s best friends with the bouncer who called her “ma’am” five minutes ago. A french fry dropped to the floor? Funeral-level tragedy. Someone says, “Let’s get food?” Suddenly, she’s reborn.